Bearer of News

Now working for a school district, my spouse has part of the summer months off and so may often be found at home doing gardening and preserving, sewing and mending, cleaning and laundry. She seldom seems to sit down. Of course, there is another part of what she does, something that has a long history, but I seemed to have just realized. She is the bearer of news. I do not mean the kind that Walter Cronkite would have reported, but I mean family or friend event type of news. This important role has a long and colorful history over our nearing 24 years of marriage.

Rose in author's garden

Typically, I arrive at work about 7 am, and if she was calling within about an hour or so of my arrival I knew it related to what she would refer to as a “fire drill” involving one or even both of our children. It must be something about mother’s, but when they begin a sentence to the effect of: “Do you know what your son did now…” you know you will not be receiving any good news. Little could I do in many of these situations, but to hear her out and perhaps offer a few words. As the boys advanced in age I guess the frequency of the fire drills would decrease, but they were present up to at least their senior year in high school. Funny, but most often the fire drill involved some aspect of school. I am sure my wife has the history of fire drills categorized in her mind, but I have forgotten most. I think the last one either related to an assignment that he forgot to take to school, or to bring in some food for a class on that day.

As she and our youngest gather and arrange all of his stuff for us to transport as he begins another year of college this Sunday, she looks at the loss she will experience with him being out of the house for another school year. One has a tendency to look at the halcyon days days of time past when the boys were young, and the vigor, curiosity, playfulness, and adventure that would go with the years of childhood. Yet, those positive traits are also combined with traits that would lead to the dreaded fire drill. Fire drills are part and parcel of growing up and I would guess cannot be divorced from childhood traits that produce the positive outcomes that we often look back at with a certain yearning. The past is always brighter in the future.

Rose in author's garden

I do have to say most calls involve news that is important, but many times something one would not rather hear, but needs to know. To date, the most distressful was in early September 2006, the day after Labor Day, when she called work late in the afternoon asking that I be pulled out of a meeting. Being early September, I thought perhaps one of the boys was injured in football practice, but it was to inform me of the unexpected death of her only brother. Some news should just not wait, and unfortunately it is usually the bad news. I knew it could not be good if she went to the trouble of asking that I be called out of a meeting. But I never expected the news I received.

Bouquet of flowers at family picnic of 9 Aug 2014
Arranged by Carolyn Hovel 

Just this week two incidents occurred, with the second prompting my thought of my spouse being the bearer of news. The first occurred on Monday when my dutiful spouse noted oil under where my car was parked. Having just had some significant service work accomplished, I checked the car parked at work, and checked the dipstick, and found no oil and topped off oil.  Yet, I made arrangements to drop it off at our mechanic on the way home from work. It turned out an interior set clip failed to function properly, where it would secure the axel in its correct position. Luckily it was caught, due to her diligence. The second occurred on Thursday when she notified me of a text she had received with information that a close relative who is battling cancer had been taken to the emergency room. All good information to know.

Moon, August 9, 2014

My spouse is a very orderly person and does not like fire drills, but yet she is a nurse by profession, where unknown occurrences are a daily happening. While it may seem odd, perhaps it is makes perfect sense as she does not wish to be in crises mode all day, every day. Plus, her training has her equipped to deal with medical emergencies. Perhaps it shows that being a mother is more intense than being a nurse. Whatever it is, she did not like the fire drills. As I look back, it would have been helpful to keep track of these incidents over the past years if for no other reason than the humor we would likely find in many today. As I pick up a phone a call and see the home number show up, it makes me wonder what news I will next receive.  And sometimes it is news that it would best for us to hear when we are together.  But it is the nature of news that it does not wait.