The use of head shake or of a head nod is a common cross-cultural expression of human behavior. People use a movement of their head in various ways—to express a feeling, emphasize a point, express approval (nod) or disapproval (shake). Movement of the eyes, or an expression of the mouth can certainly add to the meaning and intent of a head shake. Together these expressions can provide a definition of tone and connotation that goes well beyond the capability of words.
In an episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” Ray Barone, a sportswriter in New York, approaches another sports commentator after hearing that the commentator thought he (Ray) was a poor writer. The person turns to Ray and gives a rather innocuous response, but as the person turns around he rolls his eyes. Ray catches this eye movement and confronts the person again about his true feelings, saying that he saw the eye roll and he certainly knows what it means because he gets it from his wife all the time. I know well what Raymond means, but in my case, I don’t get an eye roll, but a head shake accompanied by a smirk. When I see, or sense the shake and smirk, being as I am about as quick as Ray Barone, I know what it means, and the giver (my wife) is displeased by what I had just done, or what just happened.
Of all the different groups and types of people on earth, I think that two groups stand out in the use of expressions: a spouse and a mother. Often times they are one and the same, but not always. These women may have different expressions for their spouse or their child, but the expressions to either group usually mean much the same. Perhaps it is a trait like a mom who has eyes in the back of the head. My wife, in my opinion, has taken the shake and smirk to a whole new level. Perhaps it is from so many years of marriage, but I can sense the shake and smirk even with my back turned. I can view or sense her red hair slightly moving as she provides a slight head shake to one side than the other side. It is never more than this simple movement, at least for each "excursion" from her defined norms. But, the head shake is accompanied by her little smirk with the sides of a closed mouth slightly lifted, letting me know she has some displeasure in what occurred, but it is almost like she takes some amusement in the event too. This past weekend, I was the recipient of a few head shakes. First, when I got back down from the roof to trim tree branches only a couple days after she relayed the story her Mom told her about a man, about my age, who had fallen off a roof. The second was when pulling out a box on a shelf containing a grease gun (to grease the mower) and an item on the top shelf fell on my head (yes, it hurt, and I had a nice bump). And, I think there was a third that I cannot recall. I get a variation of the shake and smirk when she sees me with chocolate chips and peanut butter on a piece of sweet bread. What is her tolerance for a head shake--according to her more than one head shake a weekend is one too many.
The shake and smirk are I suppose meant to be a teaching moment, but as careful as one can be, things still happen. Concerned with my well being, she commented after the item fell on my head that "well, it is a successful weekend--we don't need a trip to urgent care." A rather low bar for a level of success. I don't know if I should be pleased at that or find it rather discouraging. She must think I am the family version of Tim the tool man, who was well known by the nurses and doctors on the long running television show. In the end, I think a member of un-contacted group in South America, or New Guinea could come and watch her expression and head shake and know that it is not meant as a good thing. Expressions and body movements tell much more of a story than these poor words can convey.
In an episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” Ray Barone, a sportswriter in New York, approaches another sports commentator after hearing that the commentator thought he (Ray) was a poor writer. The person turns to Ray and gives a rather innocuous response, but as the person turns around he rolls his eyes. Ray catches this eye movement and confronts the person again about his true feelings, saying that he saw the eye roll and he certainly knows what it means because he gets it from his wife all the time. I know well what Raymond means, but in my case, I don’t get an eye roll, but a head shake accompanied by a smirk. When I see, or sense the shake and smirk, being as I am about as quick as Ray Barone, I know what it means, and the giver (my wife) is displeased by what I had just done, or what just happened.
Of all the different groups and types of people on earth, I think that two groups stand out in the use of expressions: a spouse and a mother. Often times they are one and the same, but not always. These women may have different expressions for their spouse or their child, but the expressions to either group usually mean much the same. Perhaps it is a trait like a mom who has eyes in the back of the head. My wife, in my opinion, has taken the shake and smirk to a whole new level. Perhaps it is from so many years of marriage, but I can sense the shake and smirk even with my back turned. I can view or sense her red hair slightly moving as she provides a slight head shake to one side than the other side. It is never more than this simple movement, at least for each "excursion" from her defined norms. But, the head shake is accompanied by her little smirk with the sides of a closed mouth slightly lifted, letting me know she has some displeasure in what occurred, but it is almost like she takes some amusement in the event too. This past weekend, I was the recipient of a few head shakes. First, when I got back down from the roof to trim tree branches only a couple days after she relayed the story her Mom told her about a man, about my age, who had fallen off a roof. The second was when pulling out a box on a shelf containing a grease gun (to grease the mower) and an item on the top shelf fell on my head (yes, it hurt, and I had a nice bump). And, I think there was a third that I cannot recall. I get a variation of the shake and smirk when she sees me with chocolate chips and peanut butter on a piece of sweet bread. What is her tolerance for a head shake--according to her more than one head shake a weekend is one too many.
The shake and smirk are I suppose meant to be a teaching moment, but as careful as one can be, things still happen. Concerned with my well being, she commented after the item fell on my head that "well, it is a successful weekend--we don't need a trip to urgent care." A rather low bar for a level of success. I don't know if I should be pleased at that or find it rather discouraging. She must think I am the family version of Tim the tool man, who was well known by the nurses and doctors on the long running television show. In the end, I think a member of un-contacted group in South America, or New Guinea could come and watch her expression and head shake and know that it is not meant as a good thing. Expressions and body movements tell much more of a story than these poor words can convey.
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