Free-range

If you are into health foods you probably understand the term "free-range" as it applies to animals, in particular beef and poultry, who are let to roam pastures to their udder delight.  Yet, the term also applies to children.  Free-range parenting was coined about ten years ago and those in the urban planning field have used the term.  Three experiences this past weekend made me think of free-range children.  However, let me give an explanation of what free-range children (parenting) consists.  It is a concept, as one news article explained, that giving children the freedom to do things alone--explore a playground, ride a bike as examples--makes them healthier, happier, and more resilient.

For too many years, some argue, the opposite has been happening to our children.  Think Helicopter parents.  Decision making can be difficult, but we all know that independent thinking can lead to problems, but mistakes are also a learning experience.  I think back to parents on our block who would drive their child the two blocks to school.  I could understand if the weather was bad, but not every day as they did.  Combined with the unwarranted grade configuration, the school just behind my home had to spend more than $250,000 a few years ago in an attempt to improve parental drop offs, and in the mean time add a four way stop, that for all but two times a day during school days for ten minutes, is nothing but a waste of gasoline and time. The solution, in my opinion, made the problem worse.   Too many parents refuse to allow their children to walk or bike to school, such that the amount who walk or bike to school is significantly less than it was in  the 1960's.  I suspect the standard suburban style of development, with the great distances between homes and schools enters into the equation.  I blogged about this, through a series of three different 2014 posts different posts which you can find here,  here, and here.

Apparently only some parenting styles are appropriate

Of the three events over the weekend, one was nostalgic and the other two were real life. First, two young boys live next door one a kindergartner, and the other a third grader.  While talking to their mom about the poor site design of the school addition behind us and lamenting the auto-centric, green space devouring design (she is a trained Landscape Architect, and her husband is a practicing LA, so we kind of speak the same language), she noted the mom of child who is friends with her oldest asked if it would be alright if her son biked a few blocks to visit this summer.  My neighbor quickly agreed that would be fine.  She understands the concept of free-range parenting.

The Sandlot Gang

Of course some decisions can have negative consequences, which leads to the second example.  Friday night of last week at Fitchburg Days a large group of what I heard were rival gangs gathered and started fighting.  A co-worker saw the multitudes, after the altercation, being led by police north bound into the city of Madison.  This was later at night, which shows the importance of proper parental skills.  Utah, the first state to make it legal to allow you child to roam around, states it is not "neglectful to let well-cared for children" travel about.  The problem is why should it have been illegal in the first place.  Those boys made poor decisions, and hopefully it will be a learning experience.  Of course, social media, from what the Fitchburg police department says, allows much quicker response of gang gathering than in the past.

 Squints Palledorous is not on the left.  That is me showing how I
was well ahead of the time in my choice of glass frames

Finally, Sunday evening my wife and I watched "The Sandlot" a story of boys, who play baseball together.  My second of the three posts in 2014 related back to this movie.  I commented to my neighbor last Friday, and later to my spouse, how unfortunate it is that children don't really play pick up games, or get around town any more but for in a car. For the 27 years I have lived behind the school with its (now past) baseball diamond and open sport field and I only recall one, yes just one, pick up game, in which I was not involved.  Children have not only become over scheduled, but they do they learn key skills with all organized activities.  For example, is there a lack of dispute resolution since everything they participate in is refereed?  Even when the nine boys who played in "The Sandlot" had a game against a well outfitted little league team there were no referees, they had to resolve the calls and disputes themselves.  As a child we played a great deal of softball in our big field at home, and had to resolve disputes as well.  At times a few fights broke out, but they would be forgotten a few minutes later.  We had our share of do-overs, as the main mediation tool.  Not all things went well in the movie "The Sandlot".  First, Squints faked drowning to kiss the lifeguard, and there was the time the boys used chewing tobacco and became sick and threw up while on a carnival ride.  (The first link is 4 minutes, the second less than 3 if you care to watch videos of the two scenes.)  Let me say, while I had glasses similar to those Squints wears, I would never have pulled such a stunt.

Stand By Me 

"The Sandlot" is about young boys coming of age and growing up, not unlike the movie "Stand By Me."  While I would not be allowed to leave home for a night without telling my parents, as occurred in "Stand By Me", they gave us plenty of apron string, so to speak.  We would explore the creek behind our house by going upstream or down; we would explore a former wooded hill that is now a subdivision called Carriage Hills.  We would bike to friends on the other side of town using a collector streets, even state highways, in Sun Prairie.  We even biked to a friend who lived in a rural subdivision.  I am sure there were times I got lost, but I always found my way home.  Maybe that is why I studied geography, since a geographer is never lost they are simply exploring new territory.  Getting lost, made you think about where you had been.  And surprise, surprise, I did not even have a smart phone to use Google Maps.  My wife commented that I probably like these movies since they remind me of my childhood.  She is correct.  Growing up in a small community, from a large family there was always someone that knew you.  A Hovel boy was easily recognized.  Realizing hind sight is 20/20, I look back and do think it was a great time to be a child. 

Children are not in constant danger by walking or biking, or going to the park. Is parental supervision always required?  Actually, the way things are going, there may be more danger in being in school than in walking or biking to school.  Children need to learn independence, and allowing them to explore helps their minds and teaches them different skills.  Free-range parenting, I suspect, will not only improve the health of children, but also their mental health.  Of course, discretion on time of day, location and other factors comes into play.  It certainly seems that free-range children cannot be any worse than those children that are cooped up and over-scheduled.   Don't our children deserve a better way to learn and gain independence?  In real life there is not always a referee.  Hey, I think I turned out pretty good, although perhaps those who know me may beg to differ.