Working Wife

A few years ago, a coworker while on vacation took a photo of a wood sign she had seen which read:  "A Retired Husband is a Wife's Full-time Job."  I have now been retired for 21 months and I am here to say that I am not a full-time job for my wife.  If I was a full time job she would not complain about being bored.  On Wednesday, April 8 she read to me a Facebook post she had written.  In this time of the pandemic, life is different even for those of us who are retired.  Other than a few trips we have been at home for over three weeks now.

Photo of Sign my Co-Worker saw

I suspect if there was anything to a retired husband being a wife's full time job my wife would say it would be me.  Even before I was given the photo of the above sign, my co-worker, who was actually an employee under me, and my wife had a game where the co-worker would tell my wife on a Friday that for the weekend, I would be my wife's responsibility, and my wife would tell the co-worker that she was the one who had responsibility for a long work day.  I still am not sure why they needed to play that type of game.  Yes, the two of them had quite the game going. I think the co-worker told my wife at my retirement get-together in June of 20018 that my wife would now have me full-time.  Even though a wide variation in age, the two of them are rather alike, at times they were so alike it was almost scary. They are both very organized and like to keep things in order. And they both like making lists.  Lists, and more lists. My wife has old notebooks filled with lists old and new. My co-worker had lists on her desk, and posted on the meager walls of her cubicle.

April 10, 2020

I think my wife's list making comes from the fact that she has a hard time relaxing.  She is always moving around and has a difficult time sitting still. I am able to find things to keep me occupied, such as doing this blog, genealogy research, or, now that it is nicer, work in the yard and garden. People often say I am restless, including my wife, but I don't think I am as restless as her.

April 10, 2020

My wife has an odd idea of fun.  To her having fun means to organize, and to reorganize what she organized. Although I think this has now run its course. I suppose after awhile one can get bored organizing and reorganizing. How much organizing can one do?  A few weeks ago, we de-iced the freezer, which she then reorganized and, with my help, made a list of everything in the freezer. I could now tell you how many bags of frozen raspberries we have (29 as of 4/12/20 if you are interested). She also organized the shelves in the basement that hold our extra food and supply stocks that do not fit in our upstairs kitchen cupboards, or pantry.  I wonder if this is related to the female nesting instinct.  Another example, a couple weeks ago I noticed how much our barrister bookcase in the living room was leaning away from the wall, so we decided to relocate it to a different room with a wood, rather than carpet, floor.  Well, it still leaned.  We found out it was the floor.  So, we put a felt pads under the front corners to adjust for the difference.  That was able to keep her busy for part of the afternoon.  Just before we started that project, I told her how I do not live up to that sign about a husband being the full time job for his wife (which is posted on her sewing cabinet), or else she would not be bored, because she would be tired from having had a full day of dealing with me.  This project provided the opportunity for her to get on my back about me actually being a full time job. In unloading a cabinet with which were going to switch the bookcase with, she had unloaded some glassware.  I unloaded a drawer that had picture frames that were stacked on on top of the other.  I put the stack of frames on the table next to the glassware.  She had to comment that this was not smart, and then added that perhaps I was a full time job. I reduced the pile of picture frames.

April 10, 2020

Well, my being a full time job did not last long because it was the following week when she did her Facebook post. I do try to keep her occupied with different chores.  For example, since she is so bored, why not let her do the cooking?  That will keep her occupied for part of the day. If not cooking, than also planning the meal which may take more time than actually making a meal. She likes to plan meals well ahead of time.  Apparently cooking dinner is not on her A list of what she would like to do to keep busy as she wants me to do some cooking. I did so one Friday and we cooked together on Good Friday for the evening meal.  Yet, as I worked on this blog on Good Friday she has spent most of the morning in the kitchen, making biscotti and bread--this is her morning project.

April 10, 2020

At times my doing cooking can be fraught with problems due to her organizing.  She organizes and reorganizes and there are items I have trouble finding, so she tells me where to find them or gets them out.  She then likes to complain about the trouble I have finding which makes her say that she may as well do the cooking.  As I was looking for spices, while cooking dinner on April 3, she came over and got one of the required spices out.  I had yet to get to it, and I did know where it was located.  She cannot help but get involved, and I told her that her locating that one spice was not on me.  As I cooked dinner on Friday, April 3 she messaged our sister-in-law saying that now she knows how it feels to not have to cook dinner.   My brother does most of the cooking in their household since he retired last fall. With my wife, I thought we had a marriage made in heaven, she likes to cook and I like to eat.

Lists on our Freezer showing items on shelves
by freezer sides, and the middle list what is in freezer

With the old saying Happy Wife, Happy Life, I have tried to keep her from getting bored by allowing her to cook, and let her do what she likes to do: organize and reorganize (although it is not like I could stop her from organizing).  While organizing may never go out of style, apparently she can get tired of cooking. 

Well, at least I tried to keep her from getting bored.  While my retired wife needs to work at something to keep her busy and avoid boredom, this clearly proves that I am not her full time job.  If I was a full time job she would be kept busy with the retired husband, and not needing to find things to keep her occupied.

Happy Easter.