Place, People and Covid

Our youngest son was married this past Saturday.  To say things changed due to Covid would an understatement.  Celebration of  marriage by family and friends at a feast is a function that crosses cultural lines.  It has deep roots. In the Roman Empire, for example, there was a celebration with a large feast; Jews celebrated too, as is evidenced by the Gospel account of the wedding feast at Cana.  Those traditions of a marriage celebration have carried on.  Since March, however, such weddings have been subject to cancellation or severe downsizing due to government Covid restrictions.  With Jamie and Joe's wedding, the main issue was not necessarily adjusting to Covid, rather keeping abreast of altered guidance/rules and interpretations.  In Dane County that meant no more than 25 persons for an outdoor wedding.  The couple chose to downsize the wedding to immediate family and the bridal party.  This represented a group of sixteen.  The photographer made 17 persons, and the celebrant, for the hour or so he was present, made 18.  The wedding was held at the place at which I grew up, and therein lies the issue of place. What made the wedding run smoothly is how varied members of each family and the bridal party did their part before, during and after event, in other words, the people.

All photos from Evening of August 28, 2020

Nearing late May things were looking good and the original planned venue and guest size, as the venue, who had been in contact with Public Health, was expecting a go. In early June the county moved to phase 2 of its reopening plan. However, the phase 2 increase to 50%, the protests and riots, and other events caused an uptick in cases by late June and the County moved back to Phase 1 in early July.  That caused a much more stringent level, as previously noted.  This led my son and his fiance to change the venue as it was no longer cost effective to hold a small wedding at that location.  Wanting to retain their vendors, they chose the home at which I grew up in Sun Prairie, about six miles from the original venue location. This meant a great deal of work to get the yard more presentable, and my son, my wife and I spent a great deal of effort doing that work.  Unfortunately, we could not find many flowers to plant since it was so late in the season, but we did find plants to place in pots for added decoration.  

That house and yard had held two wedding receptions before, one for a brother and the other for a sister.  Back then I was younger and could do yard work faster.  This time is was my son, the Land Girl and I who did the prep work of the lawn and house. The thing is, regardless if 17 persons or 170 the amount of work to get the yard in order is pretty much the same. 

The event went smoothly, due in large part to pretty most everyone doing a share of the required tasks.  The attendants, parents, and my daughter-in-law (spouse of my oldest son) all pitched in.  These would be tasks that at a normal venue you would pay to have accomplished.  For example, there was no bartender, and not staff to put out the food, or clean the tables. My oldest son made a brandy old-fashioned for all who attended.  It was my first time in my life, even as a full-fledged Wisconsinite, to have had an old fashion. So, in a sense it was a night of a first for me. Another example, the food was delivered to the backyard and two attendants helped layout the food on the table for persons to grab.  Salads were individually packed and I am still trying to figure out what gave the vinaigrette dressing its yellow color.

Covid changed the course of the wedding.  It affected how chairs and tables were placed.  It affected some interactions.  For example, it was a difficult at times to talk to a person at six feet distant. And it changed the size of the event and its place.  The significant downsizing did not dampen the joy and vibrancy of those present. The event also caused some joy in a little neighbor girl who saw the bride getting ready to walk the aisle framed to the east by grape vines.  

Geographer Yi Fu Tuan, who completed a distinguished career at UW-Madison, once said “What begins as undifferentiated space becomes place as we get to know it better and endow it with value.” In that sense it is the human interactions, the variation of beliefs, and experiences that create value which in turn form memories.  From the myriad methods of interaction space becomes endowed with value.  But, more important is that the values now inherent in place, combined with the experience, form memories. It is photos and memory that will give us a lasting images of the wedding on Aug 29, 2020.  

As the near full moon rose above the verdant evergreen line, the champagne had slowed, the dinner eaten, and the touching speeches completed, I took a few minutes to think of the place at which the event was held, how lives intersect, and how plans can be upended.  I thought of the two past wedding receptions held years back, and how life has changed. I thought of the go-cart riding by certain young boys around the yard, and some who drove over the fallen apples.  They are now young men. And one of them experienced, in a different manner than intended, but a day no less meaningful, one of the highlights of his life.

It has been a challenging several months, and no more so than making adjustments to wedding plans to comply with changing Covid guidance. The memories of the event may perhaps provide more meaning as a challenge provided by a global pandemic was met and dealt with.  Dealing with such challenges shows a measure of the person.  A roller coaster ride has come to an end.  More roller coaster rides will be experienced in the future.  Life and circumstance will pose challenges to their individual life and their marriage.  The young couple, and those around them, can look back at a job well done due to the love, nimbleness and resiliency exhibited in making required adjustments for such an event to take place. Place and people are intertwined, but the values shown are what made the day a success.  Well, that and the fact it did not rain.