Somebody

There is a mysterious stranger occupying the space my wife and I inhabit. This stranger, this third person, is at our house, at our campsite, and other places we may be located. The Family Circus cartoon is famous for ghost characters named "Not me", "Ida Know" and "No Body." In our lives we have Somebody. The wife likes to refer to varied occurrences by saying: "Somebody did..." and get into what Somebody did. Most of the time there is only two of us in the house. I don't understand why she would refer to herself as Somebody, and after over three decades of marriage she should know my name. Hence, there is some ghost, not unlike in the Family Circus cartoon, in our lives. Let me share some examples.

Bike Bridge Three Eagle Trail

My wife often comments at home about how Somebody brought in dirt on "my (her) clean floor." She is highly vested in her cleaning and organizing, and hence she likes to personalize what was cleaned or organized. There are only the two of us in the house for most of the year, so there is this mysterious stranger that brings in dirt, not just dirt on a dirty floor, but dirt on a clean floor. I don't think it was me, and it certainly would not be her. At this point in time, I have yet to meet Somebody. Of course, the floor is swept regularly, perhaps once a day, and scrubbed once a week. I like to scrub the kitchen, dinette and front hall ceramic tile. I think the main reason is when the floor gets dirty I can say "Somebody got my floor dirty." It is exasperating for me to see my clean floor get dirty. This past Monday as she went for her walk, she made the definitive statement: "I will clean the house when I get back." I used to start cleaning the house when she would make that statement, but I have learned better. When I got back from my bike ride on Monday morning she had completed cleaning but for dusting and mopping the ceramic tile floor on the main level; she did let me scrub the floor. 

Bog along Three Eagle Trail

The knife block in the kitchen has certain spots for our knives, and she complains that Somebody mixed up the placement of the knives in the knife block. She does most all of the cooking, and to avoid her getting bored, I graciously allow her do the cooking. She expects the knife she wants to be in the correct spot. Now, I know the pots and pans, and knives are normally washed by hand, and I know that they are not dried by Somebody, as I do the drying, and putting away the dried dishes. How they got in the wrong spot, I am still trying to figure out. It has to be the Somebody poltergeist. Then there was the time while camping, that Somebody put something back on the wrong side of the chuck box.

Trail between Boulder Junction and Manitowish Waters

While at a cabin in Boulder Junction last week Somebody got plain creepy and weird. It was a cool night in the Northwoods of Wisconsin and the wife was already in bed with the covers wrapped around up to her neck. She had formed a nice cocoon of heat around her body. I gently lifted the covers to the side to crawl in on my side, when all of a sudden she said, "Somebody pulled the covers back too far and released the warm air." My first question that popped in my mind was, why is Somebody in bed with my wife? Quite frankly, I find disconcerting and upsetting. Somebody can dirty the floor, put the knives in the wrong slot, but get in bed with my wife?? is beyond the pale. I know I had gently moved the covers back to get in bed, so Somebody, who ever or what ever it is, moved the covers back even further, releasing the cool air of the room into her satisfyingly warm cocoon. I certainly don't think it is in my method, or demeanor, to be so crass as to whip the covers back and disrupt her warmed space. 

Too Many Deer, Boulder Junction
The squirrels of medium sized mammals

I certainly hope that someday, somehow, somewhere I can meet Somebody and give them a talking to so it stops mixing up the knives, getting the floor dirty, not to mention to stop getting in bed with my wife. The question is, will it make a difference, or will Somebody continue their mode of behavior?