Colorful Uncle

St. Patrick's Day is generally a memorable day in the United States for those of Irish ancestry, and those who for a day like to claim Irish ancestry. It was also the day, this past Friday, that the last surviving family member of my parents families slipped the bonds of this earth. My mother's brother, my Uncle Joseph Reiner Sweeney, passed away at the age of 92 years. Every family has that colorful uncle, and for our family it was Uncle Joe.

Leo F Sweeney Family photo
Joe is youngest, in front

Joseph Reiner Sweeney, was born to his Irish Catholic father, Leo F Sweeney, and a German Catholic mother, Amanda Reiner. He was one of four children, of which only my mother produced any offspring. The main stomping ground for he and his family was the Irish south side of Chicago. Prairie Avenue, being one street on which they lived. All four of his grandparents immigrated to the United States. He never knew any of his grandparents, being just over one year of age when his last grandparent, Frances Liedenheimer Reiner died in February 1932.

Both parents came from deeply religious families. Of his six aunts and uncles on his mother's side, there were two religious sisters, and one priest. Uncle Joe, like his uncle, Fr. Joseph Reiner, SJ, became a Jesuit priest. He was ordained 9 June 1963 in West Baden, IN. His first mass was 16 June 1963 at St Phillip Neri Church in Chicago, IL. Many of our family members attended his ordination, but, perhaps due to limitations in the carrying capability of the Buick station wagon, my twin brother and I, and our youngest sister, Jeanne, stayed home. Uncle Joe lived sufficiently long to see the first Jesuit not only elected pope, but also his tenth anniversary in the Chair of St Peter. He was always a Jesuit, and led a retreat group at Bellarmine Retreat House in Barrington, IL for many years. It was a privilege to join him and his group on some of those silent retreats. Joe Sweeney was laicized, his papers signed off by Joseph Ratzinger, and in 1983 married Bonnie Culp. 

Joe and Bonnie, Aug 1979

Uncle Joe was fortunate to know many persons with historical connections. He had a priest friend, who was a class mate of Fidel Castro's. He knew titans of industry and politics. I recall my sister and I visiting Uncle Joe and with his then girl friend we stopped at the home of Richard M Daley, the son of the Chicago Mayor and a future Chicago mayor. What I most recall from that visit was how the future mayor of Chicago went on about the lack of political connections in Wisconsin, such that they failed to win the location of the Air Force Academy in southern Wisconsin. For some reason, whenever introducing us when we visited him in the land of our friendly Illinois brethren, he proclaimed us from Wisconsin. Sometimes, the person reacted as if we were from outer space. 

His greatest connection to a historical figure was through his having dated Delores Maritote. He, and his best friend Buster Clark, while in high school, had a double date where they went to dinner at the old Hilton Hotel Boulevard Room with their respective dates, and then to the Ice Capades. Delores, is probably not well known, but, to this day, her uncle is infamous in the US history. Delores was the only child of John Maritote and Mafalda (nee Capone) Maritote. Yes, Capone, as in you know who. Delores' mother was the sister to Alphonse Gabriel Capone, better known as Al Capone. Uncle Joe was lucky Delores was alive, let me recount a story from Gangster Facts has a report dated back to January 24, 1933: "Reports from the Chicago Herald Examiner that Mafalda Maritote (Capone) narrowly escapes gunfire while holding her child Dolores. She was walking accompanied by her husband John Maritote and his brother Frank. It is believed Frank was the intended target. Four shots were fired from a passing motor car and all targets hit the ground and were unhurt." Delores was fortunate to be alive. 

Buster Clark, his date Diane Gavigan,  Delores Maritote,
              and Uncle Joe. Photo from JR Sweeney.

It is doubtful that having dated a gangster's niece had him undertake penance and join the priesthood. After all, the sins of her Uncle do not necessarily pass to the niece. Further, I have a letter he wrote in grade school which indicates "When I grow up I want to be please God by being a priest." Although, he may have been saying that to please the nuns, who knows. But, for a time, he was a priest. His priesthood came at a time of significant transition in the Church, as Vatican II was still ongoing when he was ordained in 1963. Pope John XXIII, who called the council, died a week before Uncle Joe was ordained on June 9. He was in a church of transition from the Pius era to the John XXIII era--Paul VI era of Vatican II. In a conversation about two years ago, we talked about the young traditional oriented priests, and how he also did not like those priests singing the whole Eucharistic prayer. He probably could say the Latin mass, as he was well versed in Latin, such that the former principal in McFarland High School wished he lived closer to teach Latin at the school. He got along well with the principal, both Irish with the gift of gab.

Part of Hovel family with Fr. Joe Sweeney, SJ, and
his Aunt, Sr Constance

His gift of gab also was in writing where he worked at both Standard Oil and was an editor of a journal at the Chicago Board of Trade. My mom, in a letter to Joe dated 9/17/58 (which date she noted was the Impression of the Stigmata of St Francis) emphasized this when she, and she was an English major in college, wrote: "It is my opinion that too few of us have the ability to express beautifully what one wants to say. You have that gift."  

Joe Sweeney, date unknown

Between leaving religious life and marriage, he would occasionally visit our family with varied girl friends. He golfed, and downhill skied with some of my family. His best friend in grade school was Buster Clark, a friendship that persevered as they both aged. Part of me thinks this is due to the strong neighborhood connections that developed. While living in Chicago, the identity was also with his Chicago neighborhood, and your parish. He grew up in a markedly different era from the era in which he died. He would show up at our house in Sun Prairie late on a Friday night when everyone was in bed, but my Mom kept the door unlocked for his arrival. One morning he kept referring to my Dad as cyclops, and it turns out when he arrived late the night before, he went to say hello to my Mom, and my Dad, who was sleeping, opened one eye to look at him. 

Joe Sweeney, just like Frank Barone, in "Everybody Loves Raymond" seemed to always "know a guy." I recall going to a Notre Dame football game with him, and I can picture to this day that beautiful fall afternoon, and him telling me to stay put, but he had to go "meet a guy about the tickets." I followed him with my eyes and he met up with a man in dark clothes with dark sunglasses and a dark hat, but no Roman collar. These two meeting up seemed like some clandestine operation as they huddled close to a building corner, away from the gathering crowd. I expected state secrets to be passed between the two, with the FBI popping out from the windows of the building. 

Campion Yearbook photo
Source: Campion-knights.org

His upbringing was in a home of modest means, but of deep faith. His parents scrapped to send all of their children to parochial schools and Catholic colleges. He and his brother attended Campion High School in Prairie du Chien for high school, and his sisters St Mary's Academy in the same city. Uncle Joe, along with his older brother, Leo, attended Loyola University in Chicago, while my mom and her younger sister attended Mount Mary College in Milwaukee. Somewhere along the line he developed this unique sense of humor that would sustain him, along with prayer, through the trials and difficulties of life. 

Joe Sweeney, on the weekend of his ordination

I could reminisce about his varied antics that made him that colorful uncle in the family, but I will focus on the part I wish to most recall. His humor, communication and on-going Jesuit formation were put to the test in 1959. On August 2,1959 my brother Leo, (I was not even two years of age) was hit by a car and killed on Highway 51 in McFarland. To most, particularly a mother, there is no greater tragedy than to lose a child, not to mention in such a manner. Uncle Joe was unable to attend the funeral, but in a letter to her brother Joe dated Sept 9, 1959, Mom wrote about the loss saying: "Leo's sudden death has left a gaping hole in my Motherly heart and though I know he's attained his goal, Heaven, it doesn't seem to help the very human feelings of loss." Later in the same letter she mentions how she found his words: "Your letter was a master piece--truly beautiful. Thank you." Reading a copy of her letter to him, I can feel the raw emotion expressed by my mom with the loss of her "constant companion." 

Joe Sweeney at Hovel home

Mom also thanked him in an October 29, 1959 letter for his words in another beautiful letter she received for her birthday. She writes again in that October letter of her feelings of loss saying "Only a mother can tell how another mother feels at the loss of a child. Even the presence of 7 others around me does not make up for the void in my heart at Leo's absence." As she stated, both of her Leo's were gone, a reference to her Dad's death in September 1958 and then her son Leo's less than a year later. What comes through is not just the heartache she felt, but the words of comfort he had written to her. Unfortunately, if his letters to her were preserved, I do not know what happened to them, as they would complete the story. Joe Sweeney, at that time, by words provided an act of charity and comfort to my mom in her time of greatest need. It was in a manner that was mainly "hidden to other people, but known by God" (Henri Nouwen). 

To me he looks like a spy character out of a
British whodunit

I had a couple conversations with him within a few weeks of his death, maybe less than a week before he was admitted to the hospital with shortness of breath. He did not seem out of breath to me. In the first conversation he asked for some information on the Sweeney family so he could send to a relative, and I made some documents from my genealogy program. We talked about Sweeney and Reiner genealogy and I had noted how much more difficult the Sweeney side is due to common name and lack of information. For example, I noted because my Hovel family were peasants, I had land register and Seigniorial Registers to help validate and guide the research. He then called me later the next week to thank me for the valuable information I had put together and printed for him to send on. We had a conversation about his virtual bible study group, and how my kids were doing, and their projects, like my son Joe's woodworking. I never thought, that would be the last time I would have a conversation with him.

I heard of his death on the evening of St Patrick's Day, about 8 pm. After a prayer for the repose of his soul, and a review of some memories, my mind turned to the day--being St Patrick's Day, perhaps almost as an after thought it occurred to me he died on St Patrick's Day. I thought how unfortunate it was for Aunt Bonnie to now have the loss of her husband as a St Patrick's Day memory. Joe Sweeney, however, lived a long, good, colorful life, where he brought joy and hope to those around him, so perhaps there was no better day than the feast day of the Patron Saint of Ireland. His gift of letters were appreciated by my Mom during the most trying period of her life. St Patrick's Day will no longer be about Patrick, but also about Joe Sweeney, our colorful uncle. 

May eternal rest be granted unto you, Uncle Joe. Happy St. Joseph's Day (March 19)! 

Note: Unless otherwise noted, all photos from the Hovel family archives