Life and Marriage

Everyone makes choices, some of which are life choices. Life choices significantly affect the course of your life. Marriage is a major life choice. I made that choice when I asked my spouse to marry me, and later committed to that marriage on 27 Oct 1990. This date, 2 September 2023,is a unique date in my life: for it is on this day that I will have been married for 11,998 days, which is equal to the number of days in life I have been single (11,998 days). 

It is quite a milestone, for when I wake up the morning of 3 Sept 2023 I will have been married for more than half my days on earth. Now, most people may not think this important, but for some unknown reason it strikes me as significant. Although, I also think the 45th parallel--90th meridian meeting point in Marathon County is interesting. Many tend not to care about that location being only one of four places on earth, and the only of easy access. My wife is older than me, the cougar that she is, so she would have to add more days to reach the point in time where half her life has been in marriage to me. I have not figured out that date, and if she thinks it important, she can do it on her own. However, just like she did not find the meeting of the 45th--90th point very interesting, she would think 2 Sep 2023 a pointless date. 

Land Girl, being a Water Girl

My life as an adult is more defined by marriage and our two children than by any other aspect. When I was in the workforce, work was important, and some weeks I would not see the kids for two days or more when night meeting kept me away to until the wee hours of the next day, only to have to wake at 6 am to get back to work at by 7 am. I arrived early to work knowing I got more accomplished in the hour before people started calling and coming in than during the rest of the day. However, work was to support and benefit my spouse and family. Even though hour wise work took more time of the week, I like to think I put my wife and family before my career. 

As is typical in marriage, what is mine is hers and what is hers is hers. Although, I like to think we have a team approach to marriage. In some aspects she wants me as the decision maker. For example, when choosing a campsite. With my feet being so bad, a short walk to the restroom is more important than it used to be. When our kids were young, while we did not have a camcorder, many young families did and I realized the purpose of the father was to run the camcorder. Other than that, the wife has most of the control. If you don't believe me, ask Ray Barone. It took Raymond some time to realize that the power in his family rested with Deborah. I had no such illusions of who the power in my household rested with. 

Cold day camping, she is trying to get a 
text message sent. 

Another area where I am a decision maker is what to watch on Netflix, or perhaps PBS Passport, our two subscription channels. We have never had cable, and the lack of good digital TV reception sometimes makes it difficult to watch a program on standard over the air television, so we rely more on Netflix. There can be too many choices and one can spend several minutes finding a program to watch, and even longer to find a good program. Too many choices.

My wife is also a nurse. I have done my best to keep her skill set fresh, although I am not sure she appreciates that effort. If she was not  around, I am not sure who would pull out all the slivers I get in my hands from gardening. If a sliver is present, my fingers find it. 

2021 Photo

In cleaning the house, I now like to scrub the floor, so I can find that rare time, when it is her, to say: "Somebody got my clean floor dirty." I realized I did not know her magic formulas for when she mixes the floor and the bathroom counter/sink cleaners, so I asked her to write it down, so I can fill it if I run out. 

She is my life partner and I would not give that up. She knows me better than I know myself.  We are a good fit in many ways. We both like to camp, and garden. We like working on projects together. We also complement each other, she likes to cook and I like to eat. She has taken on much more than she should with the my foot problems. She is a hard worker. She is most like a hummingbird, they seldom sit, and if they do it is not for long, and neither does she. Her restless, pent up energy is always on display. I don't believe R-E-L-A-X is in her vocabulary. Her bit of relaxation, I have come to believe, comes in beating me at cribbage, or Yahtzee.  

As I wake up 3 Sep, I need to recall how important my Land Girl is to me, and from here on out more have my life will have been spent married to her than to life as unattached.