The Wife App, 2.0

One appreciates their spouse and it is often for the small things they do and the advice they provide. Like yesterday, my wife made me chocolate chip cookies. Sometimes, however, a spouse can give out more advice than one wants to hear. In this, think of car driving. In a previous 2016 post called "Traits" I wrote how I thought my wife was a “back seat” driver until I came across the comments of a sister-in-law to my brother.  My wife is tame in comparison. this led me to conclude that money could be made with a technology called "teh Wife App."  It would mimic one's wife. In that 2016 post I made the following observation about how technology could advance:  "Let me point out some of the significant benefits of the wife app.: It could provide commentary on speed, lane deviation, and following too close to a vehicle ahead of you in a female voice, not unlike that of a husband’s better half."  As I have been researching new vehicles I came across a new technology available on many General Motor models, that is replicating my thoughts but without the voice.  It is called "Teen Driver Technology."  With wireless service becoming more available in cars, trucks, SUV's cross-overs (and whatever other type of vehicle is out there) it may only be a matter of time before the remote located voice and real-time comments come into play.  GM says the idea of the technology is to allow parent review of their teen driver ability when the parent is not in the car.  This ability allows, as GM puts it, for the parent to coach the teen. 

Teen Driver Technology Center

Technology is fast improving, although with recent collisions the advent of the self-driving car still has a way to go. But technology, through the use of cameras and other technologies, can make driving safer. One such example is blind spot technology. As we age we find that our side-to-side neck movement is not what it once was, this can make it more difficult to look in the blind spot when attempting to change lanes.  My wife can bend down and put her hands flat on the floor without bending her legs, while I am lucky to reach my ankle level, but she cannot turn her head to the side as much as I am still able. This ailment, I believe, is related to her having eyes in the back of her head.  Think about it, with eyes in the back of your head you do not need to turn your head as much.  Thus, one drawback to having eyes in the back of your head.  The human wife app, then, may not be as useful as the blind spot technology package in the car.  In what is usually an upgraded package, you can get a car where the steering wheel kind of nudges you back to your lane as if asking “you sure you want to do that?”

Teen Driving Statistics, Source:  GM website

 Even I have to admit the technology is pretty neat, but I am wary of its unintended consequences.  As the GM web site notes: “The safety feature allows parents to view their teen’s driving habits and use the information to continue to coach their new drivers, even when they can’t be in the car.” The parent can use the setting menu on the vehicle infotainment system (yes, cars now have infotainment centers, no longer a radio, it is multi-functional), to assure that all of the vehicle safety features are on; register the teen’s key fob so the system automatically records when that fob is used and the parental settings take effect; and provide a report card on driving details. Heck, the parent can even set a maximum speed amount to alert the young driver when they go above that pre-determined speed.  The parent can also control the audio system volume so it can be at a reasonable level.  The parent sets all these levels with their own Personal Identification Number, better known as PIN, so it cannot be altered by the teen. Thankfully, younger parents are more tech savvy, so as not to need their teen to set the limits for them. In the past the kids would probably be asked to set their own limits.  "Sure Mom, I have the audio set at no more than setting four, and a maximum speed alert of 55 mph", when in fact they set audio to an ear blowing level, and 75 mph on the alert. Yet, they need to be careful, because the report card will tell the parent the fastest speed recorded. Now, I am not very tech savvy and therein lies my concern with unintended consequences.

GM Teen (read Husband) Driver Report Card

Say I purchase a GM vehicle with this technology, all that has to be done is to replace the word "Teen" with the word "Husband" and my spouse, without my knowing, can set driving parameters, and record my driving habits, set warning limits, and view my Report Card.  Yes, readers, GM will allow a parent to get a Report Card of the driver's capabilities.  In a sense, even when driving alone, the wife app would always be with me.  If my report were to say I traveled over the speed limit, I tend to think my coach (i.e.wife) would be, well, like Vince Lombardi (but, without the word "hell").  If my wife is Vince Lombardi, I wonder what coach would exemplify my sister-in-law?  The GM Teen (Husband) Driver technology even goes beyond what I had envisioned the wife app to be.  The following is from the GM website:

Report Card

Teen Driver is the first feature in the industry to offer a “report card, a feature designed to help coach new drivers.

Once the new driver’s/teen’s key fob is registered to the vehicle and the Teen Driver feature, parents can obtain a report card of various driving parameters on the vehicle’s infotainment screen to view driving habits and discuss with their teen driver.

The report card shows:

·         Distance driven

·         Maximum speed reached

·         Stability control events

·         Antilock brake events

·         Forward Collision Alerts (if equipped)

·         Forward Collision Avoidance Braking events (if equipped)

Additional Features & Benefits

Teen Driver helps protect young drivers behind the wheel in the following ways:

·         Muting the radio or the audio features of any devices paired with the radio until front seat occupants are wearing safety belts

·         Limiting the maximum volume of the radio

·         When a speed warning set between 40 and 75 mph, providing a visual warning and audible chime, if exceeded

·         Automatically turning on active safety features and preventing the ability to disable them, including:

o    Stability Control

o    Front/ Rear Park Assist

o    Side Blind Zone Alert

o    Forward Collision Alert

o    Daytime Running Lamps

o    Forward Collision Avoidance Braking

o    Traction Control

o    Front Pedestrian Braking

o    Lane Keep Assist

Source and Read more: http://gmauthority.com/blog/gm/general-motors-technology/gm-safety-technology/gm-active-safety-technology/general-motors-teen-driver-technology/#ixzz5CUWGkl4i

Cameras, today, are ubiquitous.  Technologies are being developed to let, for example, an older child know if their aged parent got out of bed in the morning.  At some point new technology can seem be intrusive, and even kind of creepy. Will these new driving technologies make the human wife app, and their "backseat" driving obsolete?  I doubt it.  My wife is to clever to not adapt so I am sure there will come some new form of the human wife app. A reinvention if you will.  Hence, at some point I may be writing about the (human) Wife App, 3.0 and what she next brings to the car driving experience. And, when my spouse reads this, after her first question on cost, she may well direct the purchase of our next vehicle to be from GM.  A husband watch device would just be too good for her to pass up, after all that is the purpose of the Wife App.